Runaway

So on May 8th, I might have “ran away” for my mental health.  I needed a break from my everyday stuff. I call it stuff because im not sure what else to call it. I needed time to reflect, & most importantly i needed to go back home to reset & destress. So like always, i went to Harmony Farms. 17hr drive in complete silence. I think that’s then longest amount of time I've ever been not social.  

Going home reminded me of my roots, of how much Ive let go over the years to better fit my “adult” self.  It makes me wonder, WHY did i have to let go of who I am to better “fit” what others want me to be. To go further, why did i allow others go dictate to me what my “adult” self should be?  

I fell into the “what is expected of me” mentality. I owe myself & everyone an apology for not practicing what I preach. I wasn’t living my truth, I was living what everyone else thought my truth should be. Looking back I now see the signs, & i promise i will never do that again, no matter who is telling me. 

On a more non stupid side. I got to sit on The Queen’s half brother, Marley again. For the first time since the KingHorse (Moo), i jumped around a 3’6-4ft course. Marley made me cry; not crying from sadness but from joy. The joy of sitting on a horse again & having that feeling of being invincible, brave, & the “old routine”.  

I know the Unicorn fund is up and running; but I feel in my gut that... i might be falling for a Ginger Gelding, by Mescalero, out of a TB mare... an American bred Dutch/TB cross....

so what do i Do?

Do I leap?

Do i bring him home and figure it out?

Do I lease him and see where it goes?

What do you all think?